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Adoption Lifebooks

Posted September 22, 2010 by Shannon Suda

Categories: International Adoption, Domestic Adoption, Special Needs Adoption, Post-adoption

Adoption lifebooks tell the special story of your adoptive child's life.

As an adoptive parent, you can count on the coming of a time when your child will want to know where they came from. You can make that time of question answering easier on the both of you, as well as entertaining, through the use of adoption lifebooks.

Adoption lifebooks tell the special story of your adoptive child's life, from beginning to when they joined your family. You can also add from there, making a book full of memories for them to enjoy. You don't have to be crafty to create a lifebook for your child; it's truly the thought that counts and the effort you put into including as much of their story as you can.

Getting started with the creation of your child's lifebook is simple.  You can choose from the commonly used items and information below to decide how to make their book and what goes into it:

• A scrapbook or larger binder with cardstock and sheet protectors
• Predesigned scrapbook pages, downloaded pages and/or craft supplies such as markers, stencils, stickers and embellishments.
• Information on birth parents and/or orphanage
• The child's vital statistics
• Your family's story of why you decided to adopt
• Photos (child's birth, travel photos if you had to travel to get the child, shower photos if a shower of any kind was held, adoption ceremony photos, photos for each year of their life)
• Milestones and favorite things
• Fun facts about their birth date or year
• Child's artwork

Each adoption is unique, and your child's lifebook will be too. If your knowledge of their birthparents, orphanage or any other aspect of their life is limited, add the information you know.  Also, it is important to let the child fill in the timeline of their life.  Always be honest with your child about what you do and don't know and how they came to be a member of your family, but do so in a loving and age appropriate manner. What is vital for them to know is that they are loved and an important member of the family.

If the child was older when adopted, let them lead the creation of the lifebook.  You may discover events and feelings you didn't know.  Ask questions about the items in the book to discover more about your child and help the bonding process.

Lifebooks also serve as a wonderful grieving tool that will help your child to identify who they are and resolve any negative feelings they may have.  Whether your child seems full of questions or is quiet on the matter, they likely have an array of feelings about being adopted. You can ask them how they feel about certain aspects of being adopted or their adoption story and let them know that the door is always open for discussion.

Remember to be sensitive to your child's feelings. They need to know those feelings are normal and okay to feel. Encourage them to learn more about themselves as they become older, if it is what they wish to do and is feasible. Don't feel that they love life as a member of your family any less because of an increased interest in the past they don't know.

 As your child becomes more curious, the lifebook will always be there for you to take out and add upon. Sometimes, reading the lifebook with your child will simply be fun and while delighted, they may show little interest in it. However, as they grow, nothing will be as precious to them as what you have included in their book.